


Plans & Schemes

by badly_knitted



Category: Doctor Who, Torchwood
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 15:55:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12844524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badly_knitted/pseuds/badly_knitted
Summary: What happens when River and Ianto put their heads together over coffee?





	Plans & Schemes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aeshna_cyanea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeshna_cyanea/gifts).



> Meme fill for aeshna_cyanea, who wanted Ianto, River Song and No. 28. “Marry me?”

River moaned in pleasure. “This coffee is heavenly. Marry me so I can drink it every day for the rest of my life?”

“Your husband might not be too happy.” Ianto leant back against the counter, sipping his own coffee, an amused twinkle in his eyes.

“Oh, you don’t need to worry about him, Sweetie.” River waved one hand dismissively. “Mmmm, what about your boyfriend though?”

“Jack wouldn't have any objections, in fact he’d probably be all for it, he'd just buy a bigger bed. The more the merrier. He’s been trying, unsuccessfully I might add, to get the Doctor into bed for years,” Ianto smirked. “He does so hate to be rebuffed. Does terrible things to his ego, he works so hard to be irresistible to everyone.”

River laughed. “A man after my own heart! I knew there was a reason I liked him. Besides the obvious.” She winked at Ianto and took another sip of her coffee. “You know, with coffee this good, you could probably conquer the universe.” The smile that accompanied her words was all kinds of wicked.

Ianto nodded solemn agreement. “I’ve considered the possibility, but think of all the paperwork involved. No.” He shook his head, dismissing the idea. “Torchwood is enough for me, at least for now.”

“There’s a lot to be said for keeping things manageable I suppose, and Torchwood does wield a fair amount of power.”

“That’s true, and there are certain advantages to working behind the scenes, as it were. Jack’s the public face of Torchwood while I run things. It’s a fair division of labour and it keeps him happy.”

“I’m sure that’s not the only thing that keeps him happy,” River said archly, eyeing Ianto up and down.

“Let’s just say I haven’t heard any complaints.”

“What’re you two up to?” Jack asked as he and the Doctor entered the kitchen.

“Oh, you know, the usual.” Ianto smiled beatifically at his captain. “Debating the practicalities of conquering the universe, and considering a group marriage. We’d probably have to get the bed custom-made to fit all four of us of course.”

The Doctor looked at Ianto, taken aback. “Is he serious?” he asked Jack.

Jack grinned. “I’m never entirely sure myself, but it’s an interesting idea; I certainly wouldn’t object. The more the merrier.”

“See?” Ianto smirked at River. “Didn’t I tell you?”

“You did, and you were spot on,” River agreed. She turned to the Doctor. “So what do you think, Sweetie? Should we set a date?”

The Doctor just gaped at them in disbelief.

“Oh dear,” Ianto said. “I think we broke him.”

The End


End file.
